Metalik, 51

Need a partner in crime! I'm fat, got a face like a cats arse, I've got crooked teeth-what's left of them, long hair everywhere, yes my pubes have dreadlocks-very trendy these days, Warts on my fingers, boils on my bum, size 12 feet, I've got that many stretch marks i look like an atlas, 1 wonky arm, sh*t for brains, hair really does start2wash it's self after 6months,well the scratching has stopped.

I've got a false eye, wooden leg, but it's 4ft longer than my real 1, so I do have a slight limp, I don't bath or shower in less it's a leap year. I don't believe in brushing teeth, what's the point, they only get mucky again. I steal my "new? clothes from peoples washing lines, then blame it on the local chavs. I eat cats n dogs marinated in barbeque sauce, only a fiver from the chinky yum yum. I change my underwear once a month, if i can be arsed,i hear the skidies look is back in anyway. Deodorant.. hmmmm the body produces it own scent for free, so why buy? You ****ing **stard****- ok, i admit i do have tourettes a ****ing little bit ya ****ing w*****. I'm very happy with what i look like and who I am, My mum says I?m just extra special (said with a lisp and webbed feet lol) although self improvement in all aspects is good thing.

I love listening 2music, anything really, depends on my mood. But i do like Linkin Park, Green Day, Eminem, Feeder, Pearl Jam etc etc. I'm also a little crazy, I spend 23 hours a day in a straight jacket. If it takes me a while to reply2your messages, don?t worry i will reply to all, a.s.a.p. It's just down2the fact I have 2 type with a pencil between my teeth, so I can hit the keys